Scandinavians have a culture that encourages people to keep their issues to themselves, often with the idea that they don’t want to bother others, even when they truly need help. Foreigners who come to live in Scandinavia often adopt this lifestyle without realizing it. People don’t ask for help, even when they need it.
Coming from Ghana, a country with a warm and communal culture, I made a decision not to stay quiet when I needed help. Even though we lived together as one family at home, I noticed that my housemates followed this reserved pattern — not asking for help when they clearly needed it. So, I made a conscious choice to observe them more closely, and whenever I noticed someone needed help, I would speak up and offer my support.
We all had different work schedules, so we left and returned home at different times. However, we made an effort to have a family dinner together at least once a month. During these dinners, we avoided talking about work and instead focused on getting to know each other personally and learning about each other’s home cultures. These moments helped us better understand one another’s ways of communicating.
It’s easy to offend each other without even realizing it. Sometimes it’s not just what we say, but how we say it — the tone behind our words can carry unintended meaning. So we made it a point to explain our communication styles to one another. This allowed us to ask questions rather than make assumptions.
One Friday night, I was the last to arrive home. I could tell because I saw five pairs of shoes inside the entrance, all in different positions. The next day, Saturday, I went out in the afternoon and came back later in the evening. I noticed that all the shoes had moved — except one pair, which belonged to my American housemate. I was surprised he hadn’t left the house all day.
On Sunday morning, as I was getting ready for church, I saw that his shoes were still in the exact same spot. That got me thinking. Before heading out, I decided to knock on his door to check if he was okay. I called his name and told him I had noticed his shoes hadn’t moved since Friday night. He responded and said he had been sick and in bed since Friday evening.
He hadn’t eaten since Friday night and hadn’t taken any medicine. I quickly went to the kitchen, made him some breakfast, and gave him medicine to take after eating. Although I was running late, I still went to church. When I returned, I went straight to his room to check on him again. I took the dishes out, made him lunch, and gave him more medicine. By the evening, he was able to come out of his room. I was happy to see that he was feeling better.
This experience made me reflect: how well do we check on our housemates or neighbors? Do we pay attention to the small details, or do we just assume they’re fine because we are? Loving our neighbor is more than just saying “hi” and continuing with our day.
The busyness of daily life — with all our goals, work, school, and family responsibilities — can sometimes make us forget who we live with or who our neighbors are. And this applies not only where we live but also where we work. Life will never stop being busy, even if we had eight days in a week. But it’s important to make time to build relationships with the people around us. Taking time to be with someone can refresh both their heart and ours.
The Bible says in Mark 12:31, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” God’s laws are not burdensome. They can be summed up in two simple principles: love God and love others. These commands are God’s words. When you love God completely and care for others as you care for yourself, you are fulfilling the intent of His law. According to Jesus, these two commandments summarize everything. Let them guide your thoughts, decisions, and actions. When you’re unsure of what to do, ask yourself: Which action best demonstrates love for God and love for others?
